Couples Counselling
by NixDucky
Summary: In which Sam forces Dean and Cas to go to couples counselling.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Happy Birthday Worm! **

**"Dean and Cas should go to couples counselling, that would be HILARIOUS." That was the plan anyway... It did not work out like I thought. Also, not only did the word count run away with me, it ended up being a two-parter. I'm not really sorry. About any of it.**

**As this work is a gift for my usual beta, it has not been beta'd.**

**Timeline is late season 13ish.**

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**Part 1 - In the Beginning**

Dean put the car in park and turned the key to stop the engine. Then he just sat there, hands at ten and two, eyes straight ahead. He made no move to get out.

Next to him on the passenger side sat Cas, his hands gripped together in his lap, head turned away from Dean, staring out the passenger window.

And in the back seat sat Sam, just epically done with their shit.

Leaning over the front seat, Sam reached out and pulled the keys out of the ignition before Dean could stop him. At least that got a reaction out of Dean.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Sam?" Dean turned around and glared at his brother, with more anger than grabbing the keys warranted.

"You know what I'm doing. We're not going anywhere until you two go up there. Mia is waiting for you. She cleared her whole day because I told her you might be difficult about it, so she isn't going anywhere, and we're not going anywhere. What's it going to be, Dean?"

Sam heard an unhappy sigh escape from Cas, and Dean's eyes darted towards the passenger side. He couldn't help himself, Sam knew. Even when they were barely talking to each other, Dean still worried about Cas. Because the idiot loved Cas, and Sam was going to damn well get him to admit that before this day was over.

Even Mary had accepted that Cas and Dean were more than friends. That had come out one evening while Dean was introducing Cas to the Ghostbuster movies. Sam had gotten up to get some more beers for everyone when he'd seen Mary leaning against the doorway of the kitchen, watching Dean and Cas. Just watching them, her head tilted to one side and a small smile on her face. Sam had gone to stand with his mom and turned around to see what it was that she was seeing. Dean was leaning towards Cas, arm hanging over the back of the couch, other arm stretched towards the TV, hand waving wildly, obviously trying to explain some major plot point in the second movie. Dean was grinning and Cas was watching him avidly, eyes following every gesture Dean made but always brought back to Dean's face. Sam had seen the sparkle that appeared in both men's eyes every time they were relaxed and together. It had become a part of his life years ago, but seeing it through his mom's eyes, like it was the first time, made him realise just how intertwined Cas and Dean had become. He could have kicked himself for not realising it sooner, for not kicking his brother's ass to _do _something about it sooner. They'd lost so much time, time when they could've been everything they obviously wanted to be to each other.

"He loves him." Mary said simply.

Sam had chuckled quietly, "Which one?"

And he'd made a decision then. He was going to make his brother see what he had right in front of him.

But of course Dean was as stubborn and hardheaded as a mule and could also be really dense about things that affected him personally. Especially things that involved his emotions. Hints hadn't worked. Arranging that the two of them spent more time together didn't help, because they just continued on as they always had.

Eventually Sam had to come straight out and put it into words for Dean.

"Oh for Christ's sake, Dean! You LOVE him!" Sam had nearly banged his head against the nearest wall when Dean asked, "who?" as if there were so many choices of "hims" who Dean could be in love with.

Sam had scrubbed his hands over his face in frustration. "Cas, man. You love Cas." Dean had begun to say that sure, he loved Cas like a brother, Sam knew it, so he'd cut him off. "You're IN LOVE with him. Have been for years. Don't even try to deny it. I've known you my whole life and the way you are with Cas? It's like—It's like…" Sam struggled to find the words. "Dude you don't even look at the Impala like that. It's like he's Led Zeppelin, bacon and cherry pie all in one trenchcoat-wrapped package, just for you."

Dean rolled his eyes, but Sam had seen the gears start to shift into place as Dean walked away. The man had truly never realised it before.

Dean had been distant for a few days after that. It made sense, Sam thought. His whole view of himself as a solo, devil-may-care, (and very heterosexual) hunter had been turned upside-down. But of course Dean had pushed Cas away. He'd tried to not make it seem obvious, but Cas noticed and was hurt. Mary noticed and was worried, but Sam told her to just give Dean some time. He thought that Mary might have talked with Cas about it. Sam loved the man too, but he really didn't want to have heart-to-hearts with Cas about his brother. It was bad enough he had to beat Dean over the head with a stick about it.

Stupid, stubborn brother!

Eventually, Dean had relaxed and things had gotten back to normal. Then Sam noticed that Dean was touching Cas more. Little touches, on his arm, the small of his back, his neck. Whenever there was an opportunity to touch, Dean took it. And Cas was reciprocating. He would lean into Dean, closer than before. They would talk in hushed voices. Once or twice Sam had heard them talking in Dean's room. They _were _only talking but the door had been closed so Sam had considered that progress.

And of course that's when things went wrong. Horribly, epically, clusterfuck-wrong. Because this was their life and that's what happened.

Jack appeared, Mary disappeared and Cas died all in a matter of hours and Dean shut down. Well, his anger didn't shut down. Because when Dean was feeling too much, he got pissed. And he'd basically stayed pissed, even after everything was back to normal. What passed for normal in their lives, anyway.

When Cas came back, when Dean saw him waiting for them at the phone booth he'd called Dean from, Sam had watched as his brother broke open with relief, and then closed everything up again, determined not to show how he was really feeling. And he'd kept Cas at arm's length, not willing to risk the pain of losing him again, no matter how much it hurt both of them to stay distant. Sam could read Dean like a book. Dean was scared. And instead of talking to Cas, he was taking it out on him and Sam was just done.

So Sam had called up Dr. Mia Vallens, the shifter grief counsellor they'd met a while back, and she'd agreed to switch up her portfolio to "couples counsellor" for the day. It wasn't as if they could go to a civilian shrink. They needed to be able to talk openly and Mia was the only person Sam could think of.

First though, he needed to get his brother out of the damned car.

Sam had managed to get them this far, but he was out of ideas for how to actually get Dean up to Mia's apartment. At this point all he could think of was outwaiting him.

But Cas must have decided that he was done, too. Taking a deep breath, he turned in his seat and looked at Dean. _That _look, that Cas look, where his eyes seemed extra blue and his expression was intense, like he was looking right into you.

"Dean." He said it softly, but that one word seemed to hold all the meaning in the world as Cas said it. Sam watched as Dean closed his eyes, saw some of the fight drain out of him.

When his brother opened his eyes again, they were shiny. But he looked over at Cas, and Sam would swear that they had a conversation, although neither of them said anything.

Then Dean nodded. "Yeah. Okay," he said. And he got out of the car, not sparing a look at Sam, or Cas for that matter. But he stopped at the curb and waited for Cas to get out of the car, and together they walked up to the front door.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Happy Birthday Worm!**

**And they all loved happily ever after. **

**As this work is a gift for my usual beta, it has not been beta'd.**

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**Part 2 - And It Was Good**

Mia hadn't been sure what to expect, but she guessed that a sullen hunter and a depressed angel just about covered the disturbing reality that was her life.

"Come in, Dean. Good to see you again." Dean mumbled something and made his way over to the couch.

"And you must be, Cas." Mia held out her hand to the slightly awkward man in the trenchcoat. He looked directly at her as he took it, and she was slightly taken aback by the intense blue of his eyes. And the sadness she saw in them.

"Can I get either of you anything to drink?" That was standard operating procedure, and so was Dean's reply of "beer, if you're offering." She was getting pretty tired of that joke and didn't feel she had to put up any pretenses with these two, so she just gave Dean a steady look. He slumped back on the couch and sing-songed "soo-rrryyy" under his breath.

Cas was still standing, seeming unsure of where he belonged. That was the reason they were here, really. So Mia directed him towards the couch, and he sat gingerly at the opposite end from Dean, butt _just _hanging on to the edge of the seat. He hadn't answered her question, but she poured out a glass of water from a pitcher on the coffee table and placed it in front of him.

This was not going to be easy.

Sam had given Mia the barebones about the relationship between the two men sitting in front of her. Sam swore they were in love, and Mia could believe it. You could cut the tension between them with a knife, and feelings that strong were either about love or hate. Sometimes both.

Mia had crossed paths with enough hunters to recognise that they used macho bullshit as a shield. She wondered if Dean would be surprised by how many hunters were in homosexual relationships out there. She figured he would. Mia got the impression that Dean's upbringing didn't include a lot of acceptance of alternative lifestyles that didn't revolve around weapons and violence.

She was considering how it would be best to approach the subject of Dean's feelings, when Cas spoke up, quietly. A little hopelessly.

"I know you don't want to be here. We could've done this at home, but you won't stay in a room alone with me for two seconds let alone long enough to have a conversation. So I figure at least this way we can get it all out and over with." Cas was obviously not expecting a positive outcome, but felt some need for closure.

Dean shifted uncomfortably.

"Dean?" Mia leaned forward in her chair, focusing her attention on Dean. "Do you want to talk about why you've been avoiding Cas?"

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. He was going to try and shrug it all off as an overreaction, Mia was sure.

"I haven't been avoiding him." Mia raised her eyebrows, making it clear she was calling bullshit.

Cas slouched his shoulders, folding in on himself. Dean saw this and it was obvious that he felt bad about it, and knew that he was the cause.

"I mean. Not really. Sam is blowing this all out of proportion. I've just been busy… is all…" He trailed off, clearly seeing that his words were hurting Cas. He looked like he wanted to reach out to the other man, but stopped himself.

"Cas…" He said it softly.

Cas was barely holding it together. Mia wanted to go over to him and just hug the hell out of him. He looked so small and… forlorn was really the only word for it.

Mia looked over at Dean and saw that he was also looking at Cas, a raw expression on his face, like he was just now seeing how much Cas was hurting.

Cas shifted his gaze to Dean and quickly looked away again. "I don't know how to fix this. After everything with Jack and Mary… I know I hurt you. I realise that you probably can't trust me again. I'm not expecting us to go back to—" his voice broke a little, "back to how we were before. I know we can't get that back, and I don't expect more... anymore." He swallowed, voice tight. "I just miss my best friend. And if I've lost that—if I can't even hope for that, then…" Cas shrugged. His words were faltering, sentences unfinished. Like he couldn't put into words the absolute desolation this situation had left him in. But it was clear as day to Mia, and as she shifted her gaze to Dean, she saw that it was finally dawning on him too. And he looked devastated at the realisation.

"You're leaving." Dean whispered. It wasn't a question. He said it like it was the only possible outcome that made sense to him. "You're leaving me. Us." Mia wondered if that had been Dean's plan all along. Not consciously. But somewhere in his twisted up psyche, he probably thought pushing Cas right out of his life was the only way he could protect himself.

"I can't stay where I'm not wanted, Dean. And you've made it clear you don't want me around. Not permanently, not living in the Bunker. Not as part of your family."

A small choked sound escaped Dean, and Cas looked over quickly, misinterpreting its meaning. "I'll still help with hunts. I'll always be around to help you and Sam. Always."

"That's what you think I want from you? Just—just another convenient weapon to use in a fight?"

Cas gave another small shrug. "I honestly have no idea what you want from me anymore."

"Jesus." Dean dropped his head into his hands, and then scrubbed his hands over his face, and sat back up. He looked torn between anger and despair.

"So you're just going to run?" he asked, voice rising.

Cas flinched. "I want to do whatever will fix things for _you_, Dean," he answered, gaze fixed firmly on the floor in front of him.

Dean slumped back on the couch, exhaling loudly and running his fingers through his short hair. He was clearly frustrated.

"Hang on," Mia interrupted. "What do _you _want, Cas? Forget about Dean for a moment, what do _you _want to do? Do you want to leave?" She almost said "leave Dean" but stopped herself. Baby steps.

The small "no" Cas let out was almost a sob.

"And you, Dean? _Do _you want Cas to leave? If you can't be around him… you need to tell him if you don't want him around. It's only fair. Let's be clear, here and now. If that's the case, we don't need to go any further than that." Mia purposefully made her words sharp and clear. Dean needed to decide one way or another and he needed to realise the implications of his decision for both Cas and himself.

Dean was looking at her with his mouth hanging slightly open, like he couldn't believe she'd just said that. Good. _Snap out of it Dean. _

Then Dean turned away from her, like she was no longer worth his notice, and focussed on Cas entirely. Mia got goosebumps from the intensity of that focus. _Holy hell _she thought. _He adores him! _

Dean took a deep breath. "Cas." He looked a little lost, like he had no clue what to say after speaking the name of the man he was facing. Then he visibly braced himself. Mia thought he looked like he was preparing to take a punch.

"Cas. I'm not angry at you for Jack. Or for Mom." Cas's brow creased a little. He didn't believe Dean. "I was," Dean hurried to add. "But I'm not anymore. I know you Cas, and I know you only ever have good intentions. Sometimes my anger makes me forget—I just get so damn angry sometimes—but ultimately I'll always remember that."

"Then why…?"

"Fuck, Cas. Don't you _see_? You _DIED_. Cas, you died. Again. We were just getting—and then you were gone. You were gone again, and— it shattered me. I can't… I just. I just can't."

A tear rolled down Dean's cheek, but he quickly wiped it away and scrubbed his hand over his face again, shaking his head.

Well. Mia had not known that. Were angels like cats, with the whole nine lives thing? How many times could an angel die? Mia hadn't even known that was something that happened to angels. She was a little out of her depth here, so she kept quiet.

Cas looked confused, but he shifted a little closer to Dean. "You aren't angry with me?"

Dean gave small, slightly hysterical laugh. "No. I'm not angry with you, Cas. Not really. I'm _terrified _. It just feels so big, and maybe—maybe if I can keep you away, keep making myself feel mad at you, it won't hurt so much if you leave again. Die, I mean." He shook his head. "But I don't think it's working, because you just said you were leaving me and it felt like someone had stabbed me in the gut."

Dean looked up at Cas and said, "don't leave us. Me. Don't leave me."

A small smile had appeared on Cas's face, and neither of the men noticed when Mia quietly got up and walked out of the room. She was no longer needed, and felt like a mug of tea. She waited in the kitchen for the water to boil and the tea to steep. When she had the mug in her hands she stood in the doorway and watched them for a moment, her head tilted to one side and a small smile on her face. Dean was kneeling in front of Cas, his hands framing Cas's face. His back was to Mia so she couldn't see his expression, but from the smile on Cas's face and the devotion in his eyes, whatever he was saying was working.

_They'll be fine_, she texted Sam. _But keep my number. I have a feeling this is going to be a rollercoaster relationship :) _

Sam texted her a series of emojis: a thumbs-up, a grin and three eyerolls.

Mia smiled. That _had_ actually been a comparatively easy day at the office. Not at all what she had expected. And she hadn't even needed to shed her skin.


End file.
